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Benarkah Istri Lebih Capek Dari Suami? Dear Ayah Bunda, Cuma satu kata yang ada di pikiran saya, terkait judul di atas: Yakin? Sebagai ibu rumahtangga, dulu saya salah satu kubu yang meyakini dan mendemonstrasikan, bahwa laki-laki (suami) pengorbanannya tidak ada seujung kuku seorang wanita (istri). Bayangin aja.. hamil dan melahirkan, dengan diikuti perubahan bentuk tubuh dan baby blues sesudahnya. Mengasuh anak dengan segala kerepotan, membagi waktu antara pekerjaan dengan keluarga bagi ibu pekerja. Belum tekanan sosial terkait kesehatan anak. Gemuk tidaknya anak, berprestasi tidaknya anak. Selalu saja dikaitkan dengan peran ibu. (Gambar Cover Hanya sebagai Ilustrasi)
Sedangkan laki-laki? Tanggung jawab utamanya mencari nafkah. Itu saja sudah. Pergi pagi pulang petang, tanpa tahu apakah di rumah berlangsung perang saudara ataukah banjir bandang.
Ini pula yang dulu membuat saya seriiing sekali merenguti suami saat dia pulang kerja, dan melepasnya kerja di pagi yang masih gelap dengan tangis menganak sungai. Iya,nangis.
Kok tega dia berangkat sepagi ini, dengan meninggalkan Balita-Balita yang saya sendiri sering tidak mampu bersabar atas mereka.
Kok enak bener ya hidupnya? Kalau cuma cari uang juga saya bisa
Coba deh gantian. Dia di posisiku semingguuu aja. Kira-kira kuat nggak tuh?
Enak aja berangkat cuma bermodal kata “Sabar ya bunda…” Ente kira-kira kalau di rumah kaya ane bisa sabar nggak bro?
Wah.. prasangka saya tentang suami, adalah serba enak dan njomplang dengan semua derita yang saya rasakan.
Derita
Apa iya sih saya menderita?
Lalu saya lihat lagi, rasakan lagi, perhatikan lagi, benarkah saya menderita dan dia jadi penikmat hidup?
Kelihatannya dia bebas bekerja dan meninggalkan jeritan anak yang sering bikin panik. Tapi saya tidak tahu saja, kalau di kantor jeritan para atasan itu seringkali bikin tensi naik.
Kelihatannya dia bebas bersosial, sedangkan hidup saya hanya seputar rumah, anak, rumah, anak. Itu saja tanpa kesudahan. Tapi saya tidak tahu saja, dia jenuh juga dengan rutinitas itu. Lingkungan sosial itu pun tidak selalu memberi rasa nyaman.
Kelihatannya sampai rumah bisa langsung tidur. Bukti bahwa dia tidak ada beban pikiran. Saya tidak tahu saja, bahwa bukan cuma saya yang butuh curhat. Dia pun ingin didengarkan. Tapi takut membuat saya semakin lelah lahir batin. Dan lagi, tidur itu satu-satunya obat lelah paling mujarab bukan?
Kelihatannya dia bebas stress. Ya iya lah! luar rumah itu kan penuh dinamika, beda dengan saya yang urusannya stag saja di situ. Hohoho.. saya pernah kerja juga, dan kalau boleh jujur, tingkat stress di lingkungan kerja tidak lebih ringan dari stress-nya ibu rumah tangga.
Kelihatannya dia cuma mikir satu hal saja: cari uang. Sedangkan saya, kompleks yang harus dipikir. Banyaak.. emang ngurus anak itu gampang? (tuh kan anak lagi yang dijadikan alasan derita) tapi saya tidak tahu saja, betapa njelimetnya dia menghitung potensi untuk bisa membeli rumah, demi agar anak istrinya tidak tinggal di kontrakan.
Kelihatannya dia bisa menikmati waktu di luaran sana.. sedang pekerjaan seorang ibu tidak ada habisnya. Saya lupa bahwa setidak enaknya saya, saya jadi boss di rumah saya sendiri. Nyapu ngepel masih terlindung genteng kok. Capek ya ayo selonjor.. Menyusui anak bisa sambil mencuri waktu tidur sebentaran. Sedangkan dia… apa iya jadi pekerja bebas menata jadwal kerjanya seperti saya?
Hingga suatu ketika, temannya berkata pada saya. “Mbak, Didik itu kalo di musholla kantor sering ketiduran lho..” oh saya baru sadar, dia pasti lelah sekali karena di rumah, semalam apa pun dia datang, pasti membuang waktunya dulu untuk ngobrol dengan istrinya dan membantu menyiapkan keperluan anaknya esok hari.
Hiks.. kok saya jadi merasa menyeramkan kaya penyihir-penyihir itu ya…
Jadi istri dan ibu rumahtangga itu lelah. Jangan ditanya dan jangan diragukan. Tapi bukan berarti jadi suami bebas dari ketidaknyamanan, dan bisa lebih menikmati hidup dari istrinya..
Memang ada tipikal suami pemalas, membiarkan istri bekerja keras sedangkan dia mencari nafkah pun tidak. Ada pria seperti ini.
Tapi ada juga yang sudah menjalani peran utama sebagai pencari nafkah, tapi di rumah tetap menutupi lelahnya dengan membantu pekerjaan istri dan membantu mengasuh anak.
Untuk suami-suami seperti ini, saya angkat topi.
Dan untuk para istri yang dianugerahi suami seperti ini, lalu pernah menggugat kadar kelelahan seperti saya, percayalah Bu, bisa jadi dia yang jauuuuh lebih lelah daripada kita.
Tapi dia tidak menunjukkan itu, karena cinta tidak perlu banyak cakap untuk bisa dirasa.
Salam hangat untuk semua Ibu,
Mudah-mudahan Bermanfaat
Sumber : jadzab.com
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